*Updated 2022*
What are the keys to happiness? I am going to let you in on the secret. When you think of happiness what comes to mind? There are so many different answers to this question. Some people think of little kids when they are laughing. Others might have an image of two people in love. Some might think that someone winning the lottery is happiness. The truth is there are many things that go into making people happy and many things that hinder happiness.
What is happiness?
According to dictionary.com happiness is the quality or state of being happy. Also pleasure, good fortune, or joy.
Wow, no wonder it is so difficult for people to feel happy when you use this as your definition. To be happy would require you to have good fortune. As far as I know, that is something I have no control over. One of my other options is to fill myself with pleasure. I believe right there is one of our stumbling blocks.
Can pleasure produce happiness?
Again according to dictionary.com pleasure is worldly or frivolous enjoyment. Now I can see how that will cause no problems EVER, not. It is clear that I have very little control over my good fortune. That leaves me to try to control my pleasure. I can certainly attempt this.
One thing that I take pleasure in would be a donut for breakfast. If I were to base my entire happiness on donuts, it would be mighty tasty but ultimately very difficult. I could start by getting a donut for breakfast. There is nothing wrong with that. All of that sugary fried goodness. Sure it will raise my blood sugar and make me feel not so great in about 30 minutes but in the 1 minute it takes me to eat it, I will be feeling great.
After a while, I realize that the pleasure I got from that donut has now faded so I think to myself, “hmmm, maybe I should get another.” You can see how this easily can get out of control. Before I know it, I am eating donuts all day. My clothes stop fitting so I can add a new pleasure of shopping to get new clothes. Now my clothes don’t fit, my body isn’t working the best, and I have spent all of my money on new clothes. All right, all right, this is a little extreme, but you get my point.
Basing your happiness on pleasure is not always a great solution. Pleasure is a wonderful thing but what provides us with an instant of pleasure, rarely provides us with lasting happiness.
Trading Joy for Happiness
Every time I hear the word Joy I think of the song we sang in Sunday School as a little girl. “I’ve got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart…” What a profound song. Who knew joy lived in our hearts?
Most Christians would tell you that joy comes from having a relationship with Jesus. Dictionary.com describes joy as, the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.”
Joy is usually caused by a who instead of a what. We are designed for relationships and interactions with people. Think back to the happiest times in your life. What made those moments happy? Were there other people involved or were you alone? Remember that when you have a relationship with Jesus, you are NEVER alone. Forever more you have someone on your side to help you through difficult times, through the darkness, and to share your greatest joys!
For Christians, our joy comes from having a relationship with Jesus, someone who is always with us. That is not the only relationship that can bring you joy, however. A study was done by a hospice nurse. She asked her patients what they regretted most in life. Most of the patients said that they wished they had spent more time with the people they loved. People did not say they wished they had more stuff or ate more donuts. They wanted time with those they loved.
Contentment
This brings me to contentment. How content are you with your current situation? It is hard to be happy when you are constantly wishing for more. Life is rarely always filled with sunshine and daisies. That doesn’t mean you can’t find pleasure, happiness, or joy in your current situation. Lightning can be beautiful and stars can be astonishing in the middle of the darkest night.
Check out my post here on Turning Lemons into Lemonade.
A big part of contentment is thankfulness. My mom told me once during a hard time in my life to write down 5 things I was thankful for every day. It was amazing how my attitude changed. I won’t lie, sometimes those things were hard to find and really small. It is easy to write down things like, I won the lottery, we got married, we have a new house, we have a new baby, and I am able to retire. Life is rarely made up of those big moments but instead a bunch of little moments.
Let me give you an example. Yesterday I was working on an ambulance. It was storming all day, we had to train a new employee (which means everything is slow and a lot of extra work), and I didn’t feel well. It might be easy to say oh that wasn’t the best day ever. I can focus on the challenges of the day or focus on the positive.
- Someone brought us delicious lunch AND we were able to eat it while it was hot.
- We had time to go to the farmer’s market AND we got to try the most delicious peaches I have ever tasted.
- I had an excellent partner, we stayed safe all day, our patients were nice, we were able to care for them, and we still had jobs at the end of the day.
- I had the opportunity to see and have a wonderful conversation with my best friend.
- It stopped raining when it was time to go home.
Life is not always fun but finding contentment in your current situation can certainly add peace.
Join The Flock to download a free Gratitude Journal!
Acceptance
I believe acceptance goes hand in hand with contentment. We do not always have control over our circumstances. A very wise man reminds me of this every day. I am going to share an analogy that he shared with me. “Trying to change the situation is like trying to stop a river with your hands. Instead, if you just stand there and let the river flow around you things will be a lot easier. This is acceptance.”
I am stubborn and I always try to stop the river with my hands. I try to control things that I have no control over. It really just causes me to be frustrated and impatient. When I decide to just relax and let things happen that I have no control over, I am a lot more content. It is a lot easier to live life and it is a lot easier to feel happiness. There is no space for happiness when you are fighting and fighting to get control of things and change things. You are too busy to feel the happiness that is around you.
Summary
Pleasure does not give you lasting happiness. Instead, focus on the who’s in your life. Happiness comes from relationships. Accept your current circumstances and find contentment in what you have. You will be amazed at how much happiness you can feel when you do these things.
Don’t miss access to your own Gratitude Journal. Join The Flock today!
